Today I had the chance to meet with an ortho attending who just recently stopped being the chair of the ortho dept. here at LLU. I had rotated with him for a week during my junior elective and he said that it was enough time for him to know me enough to write a LOR. So I set up a meeting with him so that he could get to know me a little bit more before he writes the letter, and also to give him my CV and PS. We had a really good conversation about a variety of things including the reason why they let go the last black resident. This attending was the first person that was able to give me a clear answer, and afterward I truly felt more comfortable about the whole situation. I now have less concern that there was anything racial about the decision, and I now have increased confidence that that resident’s performance will not affect how they look at me as a future resident. So yeah, I should be getting a good letter out of him.
I am still increasingly anxious about this upcoming application cycle for residency, and I am sure that alot of that anxiety comes from my lack of faith in God that He can, and always has guided me exactly to where I needed to be. I don’t know why I go through these periods of doubt whenever another big application or test comes…but whatever. All that I can do myself to to work hard, show diligence in my school work and in the hospital, apply on the first day possible, show them my character on away rotations, and leave the rest to God. It’s so hard to say that, but truly I have to leave the rest to God and TRUST, that he will come through for me.
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