In all honesty, this test week truly sucked. They made us take a crazy amount of tests in 1 week, while last year they gave the 2nd years 2 weeks to take these tests. You know, I can truly see how folks can get jaded in medical school. Yes, doctors have the amazing opportunity to touch people on such deep levels. But the process of becoming one can almost sometimes zap that altruism out of you. This week I slept about 15 hours (truly), trying to make sure that I remembered the minutia that was required of me. Medical school at times can be so physically and psychologically demanding that you honestly forget why you started in the first place. To be honest, I asked myself this a couple of times this week…and you know what, I think its important to ask yourself periodically whether medicine is what you want to do. Yes I certainly have my gripes about the process that it takes to become a doctor, but each time that I asked myself why I started medical school, I remembered that many good things about the field. I remembered the little kids I got to help in the refugee camps in Zambia and the experiences I had last summer on my mission trip; I remembered these events and reminded myself that medical school truly is a means to an end.
By the time that I become a physician, I will probably only use about 20% of what I actually learned in medical school, but that isn’t the point. The point, is that if I DON’T get through medical school, I will use about 0% of what I have learned. This week more than ever I realized that medical school can truly be devoid of joy and fun, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. For me that light is 3rd year; I know it will have its own share of suckiness, but if you don’t have anything to look forward to you truly will go crazy.
Anyway, I’m getting ready to go home, so I’ll probably share more updates when our grades are posted.
Now at least you can get some sleep.